Friday, October 31, 2003
Gaaah.. my head is about to explode. After playing around with images for a while I suddenly knew exactly what I want my James site to look like. And then the little layout update expanded into revamping the whole site. I'm not even half way through the project yet. Luckily, I've got the whole weekend.
This has made me neglect the American studies course book though. Bad, bad Hanna. I will make up for it tomorrow. I have to.
Thursday, October 30, 2003
All in all, nice evening. Heidi and Jaakko came over as well and we had tea and cookies. Heh. And talked endless amounts of nonsense. I don't think we're even able to talk about something even remotely serious. Hmm. But what was supposed to be just a little get together ended up me throwing them out at 11pm. Though they would've left soon anyway, Heidi was starting to look extremely tired and Jaakko was giving her a lift.
Our local rock theme sort of expanded and we ended up listening to Placebo and Nick Carter. Lovely combination. But I've decided to turn them all into Nick fans. We had a good start. They also liked, or at least they laughed, the "motherf..." part of Payback (but really, who wouldn't??).
And then to something completely different.
I want to have my pictures developed but there are still 8 or so left on the film. What can take pictures of?? Arggggh..
I saw this girl in the school cafeteria on Tuesday afternoon and thought she looked very familiar and I saw her glancing at me too. Today I figured out who she was. Samu's ex-girlfriend. And now I'm embarrassed.. I've met her several times and I knew she lives here, but still wasn't able to recognise her. I feel daft. Need to say hello if I bump into her again (should happen, we're in the same building most of the time).
It feels strange not to go to Karkkila this weekend. I know it's probably good for me. I get to sleep properly again and I really need to read the American studies book (oh bore), but it's strange nonetheless. I still haven't decided wheter I'm going next weekend or the following. Depends on Johanna S. really. Next weekend would be nice though because mum and Jussi aren't there then. For once, I could watch TV or something. Of course the cleverest thing to do is to travel over 400km and then watch telly :)
They don't bug me normally too much, mum and Jussi, but I hate it how they're always able to tell me exactly what time I've come home from the bar. "It was around 3:17am, hehe." But apparently, they find it amusing. It's good that they have hobbies.
Phonetics tomorrow.. Gah. Seems unbearable even though I know it's not bad. Just 45 minutes. I skipped pronunciation today again (I have no idea what's happened to me) and me and Suvi went to Lindex - very important surely - as they have an underwear sale. Didn't buy anything (well Suvi did) but even going there was bad, because now I really want new underwear. I wonder if I've got 30 euros to spare next month.
Wednesday, October 29, 2003
Either Nick Carter's a genius or then the most unbelievable eedjit this world has ever seen. Really. I've been listening to Forever Rebel a few days now and it's so incredibly bad you have to love it. Does he think anyone would find him even slightly convincing?
But if he's decided to ridiculous on purpose, I think he's cool.
I cleaned my room and now it's a happy place again. Which is nice because Suvi's coming over tomorrow. We have an anti-Halloween theme party with, gasp, local rock. We were thinking of buying some cookies too. Forever the rebels.. :)
Scary conversations, part 517.
Hanna: ...that's me in the corner, hmmhmm..
Jaakko: I just listened that song on repeat two days in a row a while ago.
Hanna: Last week I just got this sudden urge to listen to it. Like.. Must. Hear. Losing. My. Religion.
Jaakko: I know!!!
It must be in the air or something.. though this has been happening often lately with the strangest things and different people. It all makes me go "hmmm".
More music stuff. When taking a break from Nick, I've been listening to Four Star Mary's Welcome Home. How come was I so disappointed with the album when I bought it last spring?? To summarize it with one word, it's brilliant. I remember there was a time when Tad Looney could do no wrong in my eyes (aha, but what would you expect? one of my favourite artists e-mailed me personally several times, and he e-mailed me *first*.. - that would be a big thing now, but was way bigger when I was 18) but somehow I managed to convince myself that Welcome Home was crap. What happened? Why? I'm glad I re-discovered the band though. It's way too good to just forget.
Tiredness.. I went to the film club today and even though I really liked the film (Eila), I had troubles staying awake. But now I dream happy Four Star Mary dreams.
Maybe I'll catch up with my sleep next weekend. At least I hope so. This is getting ludicrous.
Edit: Sweet cheese. James Marsters singing Come As You Are. Aiiiii.. if this isn't scary, I don't know what is! What is that voice thing? Sounds good when he forgets to try to sound like mr Cobain, though.. I'm convinced his voice works better live anyway. Or then GotR has producers even more stupid than Westlife.
Tuesday, October 28, 2003
I didn't have to come up with any great way to get out of the debate; my infernal headache was still there. And being the coward I am, I asked Hanna-Kaisa to tell Cathy and ask if I had to do something extra. I don't. Which is very nice of Cathy.
The only reason I didn't skip the written class was my diary that I wanted back. And it was worth it. If I'd been absent, I wouldn't have a clue about the man called Mr Crapper who developed this special kind of toilet.
I told the story to Suvi and Jaakko later and we decided that screw Pekka Pouta and Aarno Kasvi, Mr Crapper is the real proof that person's name is an omen.
The company of Suvi, Jaakko and Heidi was good for me anyway. I'm still tired and headachey and my thoughts are still here but at least I'm not moping anyway. Though my first attempts of joking were terrible. I'm still embarrassed. Me. The queen of bad jokes.
For some reason Roy has canceled our American Studies lecture tomorrow and thus I have no school. Good. Gives me time to breathe as I didn't have time to do it during the weekend. I could tidy up a little. And do some school work that I've been postponing for far too long.
Argggh.. I forgot to return the CDs to the music library. Blast. Things to do:
- learn to return library items on (or at least in) time
- learn to speak on the phone
- get rid of my text message addiction
- lose the 3-5kg I've been trying to
- listen to REM
My Seth site won the best graphics award in this Finnish BtVS award thingie and even though I've never really cared for awards in general and didn't nominate the site myself, the geek in me feels all fuzzy inside. I like the layout too even though it's been there an eternity.
Monday, October 27, 2003
What a day. I'm way too tired. Not a surprise since I haven't slept properly in a week. But maybe tonight.. at least I'm back in my own bed again. The sofa in Karkkila is mine alright but it's not the most comofrtable one around. And last night sharing Milla's bed wasn't too comfortable either. One bed, two girls and a cat.
I've done lots of thinking today and realised some things I should've known for ages. About myself and other people. Also, I've always thought myself to be sort of easy going person, not too much hassle in any case. Then I remember the conversation I had with Jade last spring.
H: Luckily I'm not too difficult.
J: Actually you are.
It really depends on the point of view but I know she's mostly right. And I wonder how she's doing.. I should phone her or something.
Meh.. flashed the evil botch-monster side of me at school today. Then I skipped pronunciation. I was hungry and tired and stressed and distressed and had an infernal headache and tthen everything was all kabloooey. Thus decided the pronunciation class can't be that important. I know I'm lying to myself when I think that but whatever. I am excused today.
I did prepare for the cannabis debate though. I'm still trying to come up with a way how to get out of it but if I can't think of anything, at least I've made some notes.
I find it corny that James Marsters sings "wouldn't it be rad if I could be your favourite TV personality".. I know he's not exactly a TV personality himself but actors, personalities, they're all the same bunch really. James Marsters singing or not, I like David Letterman the song anyway (still.. where's the edge?).
Hmm.. what else? Kari made me feel like the biggest loser on the planet today because I'm not attending the Halloween party on Thursday. Crap. But I'm still not going to go. I don't even have anything to wear. Had I been clever, I would've kept the dress I wore on Saturday and do something with it. But as I didn't - I'm sure as hell not going to go wearing plastic bags and those are the only things I can afford at the moment. Sooo..
Sunday, October 26, 2003
It appears I can't sleep anymore without having stupid / angsty / silly / pointless text message coversation with someone first. It was Johanna last night, Pekka and Emmu the night before. Very good for my monstrous phone bills, hooray.
I woke up with Sid Vicious's version of My Way playing in my head.
"I find it all so amusing to think, I killed a cat and may I say, oh no, not their way but no, no, not me, I did it my way"
What a happy feeling.
Yesterday was plain madness. I left home around 10am (after about 4 hours of sleep) and returned after 9pm, only to leave again an hour later. First we baked and searched for the right clothes, did Marjo, Mari and Tiina's hair & make-up (and our own), went emergency shopping and finally were putting up the intermission buffet thingie at four. The Elvis show started at six and when it was over I was so hyper active I couldn't concentrate on anything. So after we'd cleaned the place, I came home and was basically all over the place. Had some soup and went to Mia-Elina's (where I suddenly lost my hyper and was half dead and almost fell asleep on her sofa) and later to the bar (alone even, which was weird as I never do that).
Bad points of the day: I didn't have time to eat properly. Seeing these two people who really shouldn't be smooching doing just that. Also, Pekka not showing up to the Elvis show, not informing any of us. I asked his little sister if she knew where he was, but apparently he's not answering Anne's calls either. Interesting. Oh, and the other Pekka not showing up later because I do need to talk to him actually. Oh well. Maybe later. Right.. I can clearly picture that happening. < /sarcasm >
Looking at this entry this far and thinking what I wrote last Monday, I'm starting to be convinced I really know far too many Pekkas. Really. There's Pekka, Pekka, Pekka, Pekka and Pekka who I don't mention too often except when talking about the annoying pronouncers I know ("yeeeeeees"). Plus bazillion others I never really think about. And that's not even the worst name (I won't even start with all the Mikas or Johannas.. or Hannas for that matter). Argh. I ought to start making up convenient code names.
But back to yesterday.
Good points of the day: it was fun. Very different from my normal weekend routine. Though I wouldn't want to do this often, way too exhausting. And my voice was very nice due to the lack of sleep and speaking basically the whole day. Funny Anne-like effect which I like very much but don't get to hear too often. Mmm.. saving money was nice. Well, saving and saving but I could think that because I only bought 4 pints the whole weekend (comparing to my usual "many" this is very little). Hooray. But the best thing? Funny dance floor company. Honestly.. Milla, Miira, Gröne, Jukka, Oku, Jarkko and myself. Such combinations just don't exist. Except yesterday obviously. We talked about this with Milla when we left the bar.. we like think ourselves as sort of "blenders", we'll blend in basically anywhere if we need to. But there were other components that didn't quite match :)
I've been re-processing my bar buddy theory, this time a bit further. I've realised that there are not only the Jarkko (fun to be around when tipsy but basically have nothing else in common) and Johanna (the ones that become real friends eventually) types. The Johanna type can be divided into two as well, the good and bad kind. This is all still a work in progress but I will get to finish my theory some day. In the mean time, we have Jaakko's space trees. I wonder if he has any new theories or ideas to tell me tomorrow before the fiction class. I'm sensing the traditional Monday morning angst right around the corner and Suvi won't be there so Jaakko's babblings would be a good cheer up.
Need to start preparing for the cannabis debate on Tuesday. Don't want to. Arggghh.. I'm sure I can think of ways spending the entire Sunday without doing anything even remotely intelligent (eg listen to Prime sth realising I can relate and then be shocked). But I could give the debate 15 minutes now and then start being a lazy bum. Before that, a little closure in Finnish, resulting from the text message conversation last night.
Kettu ku vihaan säätämistä.
Thursday, October 23, 2003
Who wants rollercoasters and such when you've got local buses?
I'm not too convinced ours have winter tyres yet and there's ice everywhere. What a joyride. Basically, taking the bus is pain because it's, well, scary (and full! where did all those people come from so suddenly?) and walking is pain because you're about to slip in every third step or so.
Random note: I really like Linkin Park's Numb video. It's visually pretty, I love the colours. Same thing for Robbie's Sexed Up.
I knew I'd be annoyed with myself if I skipped Spirited Away as I've been waiting to see it. Yesterday arrived, I had my ticket ready and when it was time to go, I was too head-achey and tired to leave the apartment. So I stayed in, ate macaroni and watched the Beetlejuice DVD I'd borrowed from Juha. Not a bad choice but I was right. The first thought of the morning? Nooooo! :|
Thanks to my little Kazaa Lite, my playlist is finally starting to look like me and most importantly, the current me.
Anouk - Nobody's Wife
Babylon Zoo - Spaceman
Four Star Mary - Strangled (live acoustic)
Four Star Mary - Too Far Gone (live acoustic)
Ghost of the Robot - Dangerous
Ghost of the Robot - David Letterman
Ghost of the Robot - Goodbye
Ghost of the Robot - Smile
Ghost of the Robot - Valerie
Louie Says - She
Muse - Sing for Absolution
Muse - Time is Running Out
Nemo - Eksynyt
Nemo - Miltä tuntuu?
Nick Cave & Kylie Minogue - Where the Wild Roses Grow
REM - Losing My Religion (MTV unplugged)
REM - Shiny Happy People
Robbie Williams - Come Undone
Robbie Williams - Feel
Robbie Williams - Sexed Up
Tenacious D - Wonderboy
Travis - … Baby One More Time (live acoustic)
Not forgetting my cheery bonus track, David Hasselhoff - Looking For Freedom. Whee.
What Nemo's doing on my playlist, I do not know. The curiosity got unbearable yesterday. It's harmless but annoyingly OK. Reminds me a lot (and I mean a lot) of Don Huonot and I'm not sure if that's a good thing. Oh well.
Special note for Inka and Anita: it's well worth checking out though. Why? George "double v" Bush. :p
I think I have to give the Antichrist back to Kari tomorrow. I'm only halfway through but I'm too embarrassed to keep it any longer. I hate to borrow things and then keep them from a long time unless they're from Emmu because she knows I'll return them eventually. I always fear people will think I'm some kind of.. Samu.
I really like Ghost of the Robot. Surely they aren't the best ever, occasionally even a bit boring, and that certain edge is missing but still I'm strangely drawn to those songs I have. Maybe it's James, I like his voice (though the edge is missing there too). I don't know. Weird.
What? There is a Nick Carter album "Before the Boys 1989 - 1993"??? Why? How? Why?
Tuesday, October 21, 2003
Short note: hoooray, Inka's blogging again! Need to link. But not today, I can't stay awake for much longer.
I'm extremely tired.. Couldn't sleep last night (the insomnia always strikes when you least expect it to) and I stayed up late writing a lot. I wrote Johanna a letter and I also wrote my diary. Not the journal I write for Bruce (I still have to do that today though.. crap) but my own diary. I haven't been writing much since Lahti which is a shame really. I don't write enough of anything with an actual pen and paper.
Accidentally bumped into Riia today and so we hung out for about two hours. It was nice. A bit awkward but that was to be expected, we haven't seen each other since Beach Party 2002. Anyhooo.. she told me she'd lost most of her old photos and so I started to look around if I'd have any nice ones to give to her. Conclusion? No. The ones I keep in my wallet are still my favourites (yes, they would be right below).
We look so strange.. Not surprise really, we're 15 there after all. And if you look close enough, you can spot my beloved piercing. I don't know which one was/is dearer to me, the piercing itself or the scar it left. Probably the scar. That's why I still haven't taken another one.
Why does Radiolinja hate me?? They sent me some extra bills again. First they don't send me anything in months, now three strange, big ones in a week. Argh.. And I hate their customer service phone. They never know anything there. But dad promised that if I won't be able to sort it out tomorrow, he'll take care of it. I almost feel bad for Radiolinja.. they'll never know what hit them >D
Besides from Riia and Radiolinja, the only things of importance today are Suvi and Jaakko. First they cheered me up at school and then when I finally got home, we chatted on irc for a while. Oh look, it's the nerd squad! But really. Jaakko's theories on the buffalos in my stomach (my statement) are irreplacable.
The Crime of Father Amaro would've been in the cinema today for 6 euros but I couldn't afford it. Annoying as I've been waiting for it a long, long time. But I'll rent it.
Monday, October 20, 2003
Oh look what's back! The carrot commentor with original texts. I finally made my check wheter there are new codes or not. There were. Took about two minutes. Sigh.
What am I doing? I'm panicking about Friday night already. I just realised E+E won't be there and thus my only option would be the bar because Friday night at home with mum and Jussi sounds way too distressing. Help! The reason I'm not liking the bar plan is that I need to be cheerily baking at noon for the Elvis show. And it'll be a really long day. Blast. But at least I'll be seeing Pekka, it's been ages since I last saw him properly. I phoned him last Saturday but he was working again. I wonder if he's got net connection in his new apartment in Helsinki. Hmm.
I know far too many people with same (or very similar) names. Really. It's getting confusing.
Back to Friday night panic. I would ask Samu but I know where that'll end up. Not that going to Ruukki would kill me, the thing that bugs me is that I can't remember the last Friday in Karkkila that I actually stayed away from the place. I need a change. Aiii! Of course I never know who's reading this, so open invitation follows.
If you're in Karkkila on Friday night, e-mail me. Or phone me. Or text me. Wheter you have plans or not. Please? Thank you.
Muchos appreciated.
Party on, dude.
Argh. I can't concentrate on anything. I can start things but finishing them is impossible. I'm just all bouncy and restless. I wish I at least knew what this is, I'm never like this. I'm more like Eeyore, I think before I bounce (if I ever do because I'm too busy Moping). Now I've turned into Tigger's long lost twin sister. Dang. This could be a happy state if I didn't have lots of things that I need to get done as soon as possible.
Besides plans for Friday, a new head wanted.
Why can't I sit still?
Once again, Suvi has to witness this all. I'm talking to her on irc but my attention span prevents us actually talking about anything. Now it's basically random babbling on both sides. Especially on mine.
Edit: Spaceman isn't helping my current bouncy state.
I just downloaded Babylon Zoo's Spaceman. This 90s obsession is about to go too far.
I woke up this morning and all I could think about was the bridge part of Rest in Peace, you know the
"I know I should go but I follow you,
Like a man possessed.
There's a traitor here beneath my breast,
And it hurts me more than you've ever guessed.
If my heart could beat it would break my chest,
But I can see you're unimpressed.
So leave me be."
It was annoying until I remembered I do own the CD. And so I listened to it. James's voice - not a bad thing to start a Monday morning with. I can't believe I'd forgotten all about the Once More, With Feeling soundtrack. Sweet's song still makes me smile.
Somewhat related. I couldn't sleep when I got home last night (I hate it when you're suddenly full of energy at 11:30pm) so I watched yesterday's Buffy (Bargaining pt2). It's great to see the episodes finally on actual TV screen. Whee. And I love this frame.
Everything in my head is singing.. Forget Dawn in that scene, the beauty of Spike (I would've capped the part when he's still alone in the window). But really, I like James's eyebrows.
Enough.
The train yesterday, hysterics. It was terrible.. the badness of our jokes. At some point we were even singing Moffatts songs (not forgetting the themes of the Turtles and Gummi Bears, but that's very normal). I pity the other passengers though. They had to witness it all. We did some more serious-toned talking too (on the surface level of "good wedding songs" and the likes) but that was about 10 minutes at once, maximum.
And we talked a fair amount about Jaakko. In Suvi's words: it's so great to talk to you about Jaakko because you understand what it (=he) means.
Exactly. Others seem to have difficulties getting it.
I want the Mokoma t-shirt. Anyone willing to give me 15e for that?
Sunday, October 19, 2003
Blast. I was afraid this whole Karkkila deal would be a mistake this weekend. I was wrong. Not entirely a mistake. But not one big 48 hour happy dance either. Erm.. too many unfinished conversations, too many things to worry about. Meh.. Apparently, I can stop worrying about Juha's sanity but I'm very concerned about Johanna's. One major upside about worrying about everyone else's things is that I can neglect my own and live in a happy world of denial.
Not succeeding now though. I'm a bit baffled (understatement). And so I went to see dad. He's the one I phone when everything goes wrong (or it strange otherwise) anyway. I also sent Emmu a long e-mail and now she won't reply, traitor. And I went to see Emppu. And Milla. And now I'm waiting the 4 and half hours on train with Suvi. Poor girl, I'll probably bore her to death as she hasn't got a clue about what's going on.
Actually, neither do I.
What is going on?
Bar too crowded yesterday. Far too crowded. They could've easily left 200 people out and it still would've been full. Oxygen was officially becoming an issue. (sly way to sneak in a Buffy quote, even if a bit modified)
Back to what's going on. Maybe some things will sort themselves out next weekend. Friday to Monday is a long enough time to actually do something. Except that knowing me, I'll probably end up doing something completely useless, ie drinking beer or watching telly or just having nonsense conversations with Samu (or doing all the three at the same time, which wouldn't be anything unusual). He just told someone the other day that when we (me and him that is) are in a middle of conversation, we mustn't be interrupted. I never saw it like that. But I can understand it could be uncomfortable for the third party. Ha.
Speaking of Samu, my 13-year-old cousin saw us out on Friday night three weeks ago. And now he's telling everybody I'm dating his school's new biology teacher. Funny. I went to his birthday party yesterday and tried to tell him that Samu is, in fact, Samu and not Jesse even though he's also sort of a teacher in Pekka's school and the dating thing is not happening in any case. I'm not sure it sank in properly though and now I'm half scared, half excited what this might expand to. That side of our family has always loved gossiping anyway. Hooray.
Lazy Sunday afternoon.. the American studies course book is haunting my thoughts though. I could give it 45 minutes or something. Or then I could nap. Didn't sleep much last night. Next week's going to be hell. Fukfuk.
Saturday, October 18, 2003
Argh. Head aches. Why is it that every time I have a few beers I get to suffer from it the next day with a killer head ache? It is so unfair. Last night average fun apart from Emppu's sudden martyr fit. I guess it really was me and Emmu's fault but we didn't cause it on purpose and then everything was kablooey.
The thing to understand about our martyr fits is that they're very different. Whereas mine's very noticiable and annoying, it doesn't usually make everyone else's night shitty (unless I open my big mouth and start saying "the absolute truths" I don't really even mean), Emppu's martyr fits are all over the place. She's got this ability to freeze the whole room and everyone's feeling nasty. We got her to cheer up yesterday, though, so it was all good in the end. And we're going out together tonight as well.
I had a dream about this guy who I haven't really thought about since I left Lahti. Don't knwo where the hell it came from.. it involved Idols, a play we were both in, a big chase in a shopping mall and a happy ending. Very intense and a bit like a stress dream but a nice one nonetheless. Hm. And now I'm wondering where he's ended up.. I don't know which is weirder; me thinking of him now or me not thinking about him for months. He used to be - and thinking of it, still is - on my "really interesting guys I know in real life top 5", if such a thing exists. But I'll leave the subject as it's only pointless pondering that won't get me anywhere anyway.
I demand Inka bloggage! Dear, it's always difficult to start again but you'll get the hang of it soon, I'm sure. And you can count on me reading your blog. And while I'm talking to Inka here anyway (the wonders of e-mail I never can be bothered to send), I can also complain about something I know she'll understand. The library of Joensuu doesn't have any Gary Larson books! Or then they're always taken. But really, all of them? All the time? Dang.
Meh. Should somehow get the day started.. I didn't write my journal yesterday so I have to catch up today with two real entries as I covered Thursday by writing "I'll write something tomorrow". I also ought to visit Milla (to get my new Oranki CD, teehee) and make myself to read A Brief History of American Culture. It's a bore.. I still have almost 200 pages to go and I have to return it next Monday. Don't know how I'll be able to pull this thing off but I'm going to try. Somehow. Sigh.
Wednesday, October 15, 2003
"But there's always the fact that he's in Oxford, our beloved and beautiful Oxford, and there's no guarantee that we'll ever go back there." -Inka
Erm.. whose beloved and beautiful Oxford?
The way I see it, it's just Oxford. Well, maybe it is our Oxford but it's not beautiful and beloved for me. And why do I always feel like the world's biggest traitor when I say that? True, the buildings are great and the area pretty but I feel there's something missing. I pondered this in my journal (the one I write for the written 1 class) and Bruce commented that he's often heard Oxford to be "clinically academic" and I really think he might have a point there. It's nice to know I've been there but I don't miss it the way I miss, let's say, Manchester - now that is my beloved (if not too beautiful, teehee) city.
Had someone I know gone there for a year I know couldn't have coped with it.
No hold on.
I know a girl who just went there. For a year. Blast! Stupid Veera.. But she's lived in England before (London) so it doesn't count. Laalaalaa.. I'm trying to find similar silly excuse for not feeling bad about the fact Suvi might have a ticket to see Robbie in November. Not succeeding yet.. Laalaalaa..
I wrote this really stupid little limerick yesterday. Even though it wasn't particularly good I remembered how fun it can be.. making up little limericks. I used to be fairly good at it. But now I can't remember if there's any certain amount of syllables you're allowed to have on each line and it bugs me but not enough for me to find out.
Despiting my bad key luck last week, I decided to give the school film club another shot. 101 Reykjavik. I've finally seen an Islandic film! I liked it a lot. It was very different from anything I've ever seen and the camera work was great. Now I'm on a really good mood. Which I am not spoiling by watching Boys Don't Cry, which is on telly now. Good film but I know it'd ruin my happy.
Oh come on!
My playlist is driving me nuts but I love it too much to change it. I feel a little bit silly having Lordi, Kotiteollisuus, Eminem, Anouk and Leonard Cohen on the same playlist. Not forgetting Louie Says, Travis, Four Star Mary, Kwan, Velvet Chain and Nick Cave adding their spicies to the mix. Gah.
Edit: oh no! At least the playlist, however schizhophrenic it may be, has worked fine this far. The thing is, I play it in random order and eeee.. Louie Says and Lordi, not a good combination.
Monday, October 13, 2003
I get what Inka means. I'm happy to be in a real school too and I'm completely infatuated with my new Joensuu friends, but Pasi's in Oxford for the goodness sake. There is one thing to comfort me (or us): he'll only be there for a year. And if I stay at Joensuu, two months minimum (12 months max) stay in an English speaking country will be necessary. And it will be cheaper for me than to go the route Pasi did. So ha. The winner takes it all.
As I mentioned my new Joensuu friends, I had the worst shitty Monday blues today. Don't know where the hell it came from but I was a mess, I almost started crying before fiction 1! And then suddenly, there was Jaakko. He sat in front of me, turned around and started chatting about the most useless things ever. And so we talked about Anssi Kela lyrics (the rhymes, the rhymes), cartoons, dissing Justin Timberlake and whatnot and suddenly I realised I was all cheery again. Oi? What happened?
Then I went to see Suvi, I had already reverted back to normal though as I had pronunciation after fiction (argh), but still managed to give her a 10-minute monologue about Donnie Darko without really understading it until the minute 8 or something. And she didn't even show any signs of boredom. And apparently likes me still. Whee. A gem she is.
I have difficulties to stay awake and suddenly I realise there is no reason for me to fight the sleep. I really should be in bed anyway as waking up is getting more and more difficult each morning. And I need to re-charge the battery because I need to perform a poem tomorrow in the oral expression class. I know I know the poem (Richard Cory) probably backwards in my sleep but I also know that I will get nervous (oh hold on, I already am) and the odds are I'll fuck it up if I'm slightest bit too tired. Wouldn't want that. Though it will probably happen. Optimist forever.
Why am I starting a new week surfing Backstreet Boys picture galleries?
I honestly have no idea. But it scares me a little.
I also watched Angel yesterday.
Maybe I'm reverting back to the 18-year-old-me.
But to the point.. What's with Kevin's hair? Sweet cheese.. Surfing these galleries now, I can't believe he was the best thing I could imagine all that time. Now when I look at him, he looks very average. Nice average maybe but average nevertheless. I still like his eyes though. Serious Monday morning ponderings.
Sunday, October 12, 2003
I just watched Donnie Darko. Finally! I'm still a bit baffled.
Oh dear. I got a bit phone happy last night.. not that I sent text messages to everyone I've ever met but I did send a few pointless ones too many. Nothing embarrassing, just complete waste of time and money. Hm. Why does this always happen? I should really leave my phone home when I go out. Emmu wasn't in a position to stop me either. She got phone happy too.. Aergh.
A thing to be happy about: at least I didn't get zed finder happy again. Relief.
But we did have fun. When MTV stopped playing 90s songs for the night (even more gems, it was brilliant!) we listened to funny 90s pop albums I own while going through piles and piles of old photos. When we finally got to the bar, the DJ seemed to have a 90s night as well. And as we didn't know anyone, we just sort of broke loose. The best laugh I've had in a long, long while. And really, never has East 17's House of Love sounded that good :)
Oo.. and the strange two days listening to Kotiteollisuus did pay off. Other people in the bar weren't too happy about the DJ playing it, which meant me and Emmu could basically take over the whole dancefloor. Hurrah..
I had an e-mail fest on Friday and e-mailed 7 of my friends I haven't been in contact with lately. Pasi had replied yesterday. It turns out he really does live in Oxford now! Wow.. Mental note: I need to talk to my friends more often.
Mum just phoned.. They'll pick me up from Imatra on the way from granpa's to Karkkila if I leave on Thursday already. That means Hanna saving 10 euros. Sounds like a plan to me..
I feel like having an omelette with olives. Mmm.. I will have to make one after Buffy. I don't really like omelettes but whatever.
Saturday, October 11, 2003
It seems to be a new tradition that whenever I'm in Joensuu for the weekend, someone in Karkkila sends me a text message from the bar after 2am Saturday morning. It also would seem to figure that I can't really make sense of the message and then have no idea what to reply and then end up sending something completely trivial and pointless. Hmm.
Goodbye, alcohol free weekend. I just bought five large cans of cider. Granted, I'll share them with Emmu, but still. Oh well. We're going to venture Joensuu's night life tonight. Hmm. Too bad I'm broke. I don't know how we'll get home if (and when) we want to stay later than 1:30am.
Having Emmu over has been nice. We've spent a lazy Saturday.. woke up too early and waited impatiently for He-Man to start. And then we sat around in our PJs and listened to A1 (singing along, naturally). Then we went shopping. Buying the new shirt was inevitable. And it is so nice!
Now we're watching MTV's Totally 90s weekend. Fastball, George Michael, BSB, EMF, eeeee.. I'm loving this and am not even embarrassed :)
Shock horror of the day: DJ Bobo is still alive and making music! He was in the European top 20.. I wonder when someone is going to tell him (or his fans) he's not really all that talented.
More fun MTV moments..
Hanna: If we watch this long enough, I'm sure Justin Timberlake's Senorita will be on.
*the next song starts*
Hanna: Wait, I know this, it's .. NOOOO!
I swear, the song haunts me.
Friday, October 10, 2003
I got this sudden urge to revamp my mp3 collection.. Me and Jaakko were talking about songs in general yesterday morning and he said he's been listening to Muse's Time is running out a lot lately. I downloaded it yesterday (luckily I can still use Kazaa lite even though none of my other download programs don't work here) and thought I'd download some other songs too, mainly the ones my friends obsess about. And now my playlist is just plain schizophrenic.. it's my friends combined with, well, me.
But I very much enjoyed Time is running out.
Happy thing about this revamp is that I finally get to hear Ghost of the Robot. I still want the album though.. I'm so lazy!
Or then possibly not.
I just got another sudden urge to, gasp!, clean. I was just going to vacuum my own room but thought I'd wash the floor as well. And our bathroom. And toilet. And.. I'll let Hanna and Miia take care of the kitchen, I did clean that last week after all. I don't think they've ever washed the bathroom floor.. the amount of dust was unbelievable.
Emmu's coming today, tralala.. :)
I have no idea how to entertain her though. I tried to ask Eiccu and Jaakko as they're actually from Joensuu but they weren't too much of a help. Jaakko only said "welll..." and Eiccu started listing all these sports places.. Somehow I don't see myself taking Emmu to swimming hall and the likes. Except that I did take her to the ski jumping towers in Lahti last spring. But that was different.
Ippe went to the hospital today and I feel half sad half worried. It can take ore then a month until I see her again! And some tiny part of me feels guilty for being happy whenever I can say no to a chocolate bar. Gah. I hate food. I wish it wouldn't exist.. Honestly, is there a person anywhere who doesn't have any kind of problem with it? I don't know which is better (or worse, depends on how you look at it): the pleasure you get from eating anything you crave and then feeling like a pig or when you can keep youself from doing it but still think about those effing tortilla chips non-stop.
Mentioning food, I ought to mention the good kind of it as well (not chocolate and crisps and fries and such). I had very nice barley porridge at school today. I'd forgotten how much I like it. And I made really nice potato / asparagus soup yesterday. Now I want to to try making tomato soup myself. I have no idea where this soup obsession came from..
Wednesday, October 08, 2003
Emily just pointed out that my commentor doesn't show when new comments have been made. No! And here I though no one was commenting anymore. I feel so daft. I didn't even know how to fix it. Stupid Yaccs. I was forced to settle with a precaution thingie.
I just read all the comments that I haven't known about since the blog hiatus. So many nice people have stopped by and I didn't even know. Even Anita's been commenting.. I really need to e-mail her. Yet another e-mail to add to my to-do-list.
More things that make me feel daft: my keys. Me and Suvi were supposed to go to see Adaptation (school film club thingie, very cheap) but even though I clearly remember putting my keys into my bag, they weren't there when it was time to leave. Of course, I had already closed the apartment door when I started searching for them and so I had locked myself out when Hanna and Miia weren't home. Hurrah! And we couldn't go to see the film because my 30-day buss pass is attached to that effin key chain. So I went to Suvi's (and once again I'm glad she lives in my building) for a chat and tried to phone Hanna and Miia from there. Hanna finally answered after three hours and it turned out she'd come home right after I had left but just didn't hear the phone.
But the main thing is I got back. I already mentally prepared myself for a night at Suvi's sofa. Not that I need any more sleep, I napped for three hours in the afternoon..
The thing is, I really wanted to see Adaptation because I haven't seen it yet. Bummer. But I'll be able to rent it soon, I'm sure. La-di-da.. I'll listen to Savage Garden instead. Happiness.. I listen to it once a year or something and am extremely happy when I "find it again". Same thing with Kula Shaker. Except that liking Kula Shaker is far less embarrassing :)
Trying to write an e-mail in Swedish really makes you feel stupid. Or at least makes me feel stupid. I just tried to scribble a basic, casual e-mail in Swedish and it took me several minutes to come up with two sensible lines (19 words). Can't speak Swedish at all, fuk fuk.
Mmm.. My room is my room again. Having Milla over was nice but I do like to be alone occasionally. Now we did things together 24/7, save the four hours I spent at school. Also, it's nice to turn into a closet(?) computer geek again after 4 days of being a serious couch potato. Hurrah!
And I do mean serious couch potato. We watched 18 episodes of Friends in four days. And a Jennifer Aniston film (the brilliance that is the Good Girl!). And Idols. And Escort (Milla's choice, honestly). And Uutisvuoto. And Frasier. And.. it's a wonder we had time to go out at all. But we did. Funny thing? I'm not even near to Friends overdose yet.
Blagh.. everyone's a mess and I'm too tired to care. No, rephrase: my attention is sort of limited. I can't be there for everyone equally and it pains me. I'd like to be the shoulder for all my friends but I simply can't. And I can't really say whose promblems are more important and thus demand more attention and aaaaargh.
The nice autumn rain has changed. It's now cold. And windy. But I try not to care, I've got new shoes! Which is sort of a bummer, because I really wanted to buy a new shirt this month but can't probably afford because of the shoes. Or then I could eat porridge for five years and never go back to Karkkila again. Hmm. Even though skipping the Karkkila weekend might be a relief in more ways than one, I'm well aware of the fact nothing's going to keep me away from there on 17th and 24th this month. Too much to do and see. So maybe I will just have to live without a new shirt. Darn it.
Saturday, October 04, 2003
Oh bugger. The whole week I've been waiting for Saturday so I could sleep late. I woke up at 7:45 only to find the strangest text message from Ippe, which I couldn't figure out. And then I couldn't go back to sleep. Oh well.. I'm not tired anymore anyway so I guess it doesn't matter. And really, there's no better way to start a day than to wake up early enough to see He-Man. Whee!
I don't know what's with me today.. I just want to look nice today. Usually I don't care, I look the same every day, wherever I go (except that if I'm going out, I'm wearing eyeliner, which I usually don't do). Today I even did my hair. Well, tried to do my hair more like. And that hasn't happened in ages unless there's been some very special occasion, ie Johanna's 21st birthday.
Of course Emmu thinks I've got something she likes to call "easy hair". Just a few brushes and it's in order. I beg to differ.. It might be in order but it's oh so very boring. I need to figure out what to do with it. I'm tired of it as it is.
And then to more interesting things.. Well, not really.
Hehee. I've been snickering this for some time now, I might as well post it. Eeee.. It's Samu (and me) 11 or 12 years ago, I think. Erm. Why do you have to have people dancing slow songs in children's parties anyway? Hm. There are lots of cute child-Samu pictures from this party, but I think this is my favourite. Along with the other favourite that has found its place on my wall :)
I miss those times. Everything was very simple and I was a cool kid because
a) I had a cool big sister
b) who had a cool boyfriend
c) I was friends with Tuuli who was a year older than me and went to different school
d) all the three came to our little costume party
Later everything got a bit more complicated and those things didn't matter anymore.. Heh.
I'm proud of myself. I didn't watch Scary Movie yesterday. Instead I wrote Inka a long, long letter (a real letter, as in pen and paper and the works) and started The Antichrist. The less intellectual me watched Idols - commenting it to Pekka on aim every two minutes - and ate a bagful of tortilla chips that caused me to feel extremely sick. Thus I have skipped my breakfast today. I only had my Fe++, B-vitamins and multivitamins.. I have a feeling this is going to be one hyperactive day.
Friday, October 03, 2003
Supperheads might make me smile but they're far away from great lyrics.. "Honey honey honey I love you baby / funny funny funny - you love me too - / honey honey honey I love you baby / there are things that we could do" Oh come on!! Oh well. Shouldn't complain.
Heidi really did ask me to go out somewhere but tomorrow. Luckily I can't go. Then we got into this whole conversation why I want to avoid the whole bar scene this weekend. Then Kari called me a bar amateur for developing a hangover-like state even if I don't drink anything. Ha. Why would I want to be professional anyway? I might as well quit the school and move to Pässi or something. Hm.
Mentioning Kari, he lent me his copy of Nietzsche's Antichrist. I'll try to start it today (though I still haven't finished Dubliners, or Larger Than Life for that matter) but if the lazy-arse-Friday-night feeling catches me again, there's always Scary Movie on telly (for some reason I can already guess what I'll end up doing).
I talking to Marjo which is nice since we haven't really been in contact for ages. Hurrah for the re-discovered online friends. And re'discovered friends in general.
I've got this funny empty feeling today. It's like I'm missing something but can't exactly point out what. Annoyance. Oh well. Milla will be here tomorrow, that ought to keep me busy until Wednesday. And then Emmu should come here on Friday and then .. I have my life planned too far ahead, let me tell you. Grief.
I'd like to master Pig Latin.
Edit: more old friends re-disovered. Pekka is online.
Thursday, October 02, 2003
Q: Do I have any self-control?
A: No.
I felt like some candy and so I walked to K Supermarket in rain just to buy some. Arggggh. But at least I can think I got some fresh air because I went further away, not just to the Siwa nearby.
Me and Emmu had a chat date yesterday. As she couldn't access kiss.fi, we had to go to some crappy sports room on suomi24. Heh. It was fun. Not as nice as talking on the phone but definitely wiser as we're both practically broke. Conclusions: I shouldn't worry about certain things I will not post here because of the paranoia (but I can't help it! I am me! I was made to worry about them.. aiii!) and I am not allowed to use the word "ahteri" for butt as "pepatti" is better. Ahem.. It's good to know there's someone you can count on good opinions.
And today I've spent most of the day trying to figure out the whole irc system all over again. Argh.. Didn't mean to. Suvi just sent me an e-mail asking to keep her company and as I had nothing better to do.. It seems a bit silly as we live in the same building but whatever. We have no lives. Well, no lives here. So anything to make Suvi happy :)
Dilemma solved: apparently Jaakko had noticed me visiting his site as he had replied to my guestbook message but neither of us mentioned it today. Yes. The way to behave.
"We're drawing a plan for world domination. The key element? Coffee-makers that think."
Don't know where the hell that came from.. I'm really really tired and all these funny little quotes are going around my head.
I. Hate. Pronunciation.
Really. The idea of it just revolting.. I hate listening to my own voice saying and speaking to microphone and I can't stand the fact I can't pronounce the word "contribute" correctly. ARGGGH! I've been repeating the word to myself so many times today I've started to feel extremely stupid. But really. One ought to be able to say "contribute", right? Right?? Right.
I'd like to go to Karkkila this weekend but I've got several good reasons why not to do it.
1) I can't really afford it.
2) Milla will be here from Saturday to Wednesday.
Those two should be enough. Also, I know that if I went to Karkkila, I'd be in Ruukki anyway. And I still haven't fully recovered from the mental mess I caused last Saturday so I think it's better to stay away from all the bars. I hope Heidi won't drag me anywhere tomorrow.. She sounded a bit like she would do it.
I wish I'd get something else than spam e-mail. Sigh.
Wednesday, October 01, 2003
I can't stop listening to Supperheads. Ooo-er.
Also: zucchini soup. Mmm.
Funny incident of the day: I was surfing the irc gallery today to amuse myself (ultimate boredom and laziness caught me). The conclusion? Everyone's there except me - mainly ebcause irc has never really been my thing. Anyway. After I'd browsed through most of Karkkila and some of my friends I knew had their pictures up there I thought I'd have a quick look of the people of Joensuu. 399. I randomly clicked one name, I repeat: one name of 399, and whose face did I see? Jaakko's.
Turns out he has a website as well. Should've guessed really. I went there and harrassed his guestbook. The joys of life! Now there's a dilemma though. Do I tell him I visited his site tomorrow when I see him or do I wait until he reads the guestbook and notices me? Aiii! I still haven't decided wheter I like people telling me they visit my sites (and first and foremost: read this blog) or not. Both options make me feel occasionally paranoid. So thinking of my own reaction is not much of a help.
And then to something completely different.
Even I'm starting to get confused with calling everyone by their initial. Or not everyone. Just some, selected people. Hold on, there's at least E, E, E, E (two of them usually E+E), P, S, J, J, T, Ä+J, H - not me, H - me. Confusing all the Es is not a problem but confusing E, P and T is as they sound disturbingly similar and often appear in the same sentences even though they're not as strong combinations as E+E or Ä+J. I should come up with a new code name system. Except that none of these aren't really code names per se, and most of them are just plain nicknames. Like H and H.
This isn't really all that interesting, it's just something I was thinking while making that zucchini soup.
I was reading through my old diaries and also September 2002 archives. I'm glad it's time long gone. One more reason to be happy.
Suvi reserved a laundry time today and because she's only going to need 30 minutes of the 2 hours, she's letting me to do my laundry after her. Happiness! Most of my clothes reek. I hate smelling like cigarettes. How all my clothes end up like that is always a great mystery to non-smoker like me. And if there is even one smart-ass out there going "duh, she goes to bars" I'll throw my mushroom hat at them.
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